Excuses:
Male excuses to wife/partner for not starting a job
I don't have the right tools
I really don't have the time for this
It might aggravate my bad back (or bad anything)
I don't like heights, my ladders won't reach, we don't have ladders (certain jobs only)
The kids want me to do stuff with them
Your mother is coming round at the weekend

Male excuses to wife/partner for not finishing a job
This job turned out to be more complicated than it looked
I didn't have the right tools
It aggravated my bad back (or bad anything)
I got vertigo, my ladders didn't reach (certain jobs only)
I got distracted by the kids wanting me to do stuff with them
I got distracted by the prospect of your mother coming round at the weekend
I couldn't be arsed to finish it because I have a low boredom threshold (use with caution)

Male general excuses to wife/partner
Can't be arsed (use with caution)
I have a low boredom threshold (use with caution)
I have better things to do (be prepared to prove it)
I think you could do this job better than me

Female excuses for contacting House Martin
I've been asking my husband/partner to do this job for weeks
My husband/partner is not great at DIY apparently
My husband/partner doesn't have the right tools apparently
My husband/partner has a bad back (or something else) apparently
We don't have suitable ladders apparently
We have a busy social life and demanding children apparently
We're getting a divorce